Agonizing Descent

One of Nathaniel Oliver’s most profound works, There I Lie, Fever, is an abstract representation of the harrowing ramifications of illness. Oliver’s skillful blend of bold colors and masterful employment of textures and value add to the flashbacks that I suppress in the back of my mind. The definition of the colors add a plethora of depth and meaning to the piece by bringing out the focal point and a sense of emotional unrest on a subconscious level. The painting depicts a singular individual in bed—reminding me of the times I felt confined to my own miniscule surroundings—surrounded by the indication of intricately textured buildings, alongside a clutched stuffed animal in my fading hands. Each meticulous detail unites the commonality of how the piece speaks to each of its viewers, both aesthetically and sentimentally. While the composition holds different values in each individual through its combination of color variations and forms, its overarching significance allows me to feel a sense of almost peculiarity and uncomfortableness in its speculative familiarity. From my previous experiences and my own wave of feverishness, this artwork exists to exhibit the intense incarceration I have felt within some of my own illnesses. 

There I Lie, Fever resides in the RISD Museum on the first floor near the entrance. It is located near a multitude of other paintings , including Her Death Was Hysterical and Pie in the Sky. I find myself mesmerized by the craft of oil on wood, making the piece easily displayable and especially capturing to the human eye. The materials used add to the emergence of unwanted memories—in my case at least—through the layered effect that the oil creates upon the chosen canvas.

This brilliant piece offers a different perspective on the extremities of human existence, transcending what others might expect from an ordinary painter. There I Lie, Fever is not a painting of idealization, but rather the raw form of the atrocious that can burrow within the confines of one’s lifespan. The muted colors add a dreary and gloomy touch to the painting, almost as if there is an emptiness in myself as I lay in bed sick. Color variations within this painting draw some sort of despair and cede as the individual clutches to its sole form of comfort. I begin to replace the figure with my own presence, finding who I am through my past occurrences, with an apathetic nature towards the ever-growing maliciousness of the disease I once held in the palm of my hands.

The assumed brown window to the right of the painting seems to be accompanied by two dark figures of some sort. I find myself taken aback by the bleakness of the figures within the windowsill, and in a feverish daze, believing that an ominous force may be viewing myself. The harrowing reality of such a peculiar addition to the piece transports me back to the animated horror stories I used to adore, yet were not nearly as ominous as these dark shadows, mocking me as I took the place of the figure. The matching color scheme of the sun behind the subject of the painting ominous glows as it is accompanied by two miniscule ravens, eliciting a sense of foreboding or even death in the midst of my recovery. The obvious figure in the main center of the piece holds an expression of anguish, its slightly smudged and unclear lines creating a feeling of haziness and an almost dissociated feeling to myself as I lay in bed, struck with illness. Finally, the smoke arising from the individual’s head captures the true essence of how debilitating chronic diseases can be, burying me in a ditch as I lay there, unmoving as I morph into the figure in the piece.

When viewing There I Lie, Fever, I first notice the contrasting colors within the face of the individual. In my own artwork, I find myself shying away from bright or juxtaposing color variation. However, this painting stretches the limits of what is perceived to be “neat” and each brushstroke and color is very deliberate, yet somewhat simultaneously elaborate. I seek to challenge myself through these very intentional colors and experiment with the way in which each color sets the tone of a general artistic story. 

In its entirety, the piece showcases a disconcerting atmosphere, filled with a sort of unrealness to it. “My” haziness and smoke emitting from myself resembles the delirium and inclarity that arises from physical illness, to the point where they affect my individual’s psychological well-being and my drift in and out of consciousness through a recurring nightmare. This piece evokes an uncanny mood, with its seemingly mushed subject matters and configuration. The piece is by no means comforting, nor nostalgic, yet it brings me familiarity in the wicked nook of gut-wrenching chronic illness. I recollect unpleasant memories, being transported to my childhood as I lay in bed resting with congee near my bedside table, my mother stroking my hair as she whispers affirmations.

Works Cited 

Oliver, Nathaniel. There I Lie, Fever. 2020, RISD Museum, Providence.